Transcripts/Shock It to Me
song playing :jingling :clicks :Lois Lane: 'gasps Leslie Willis. I see you let yourself in. Again. What brings you by? :'Lesllie Willis: 'Just saving your newspaper, Lois. I've got an idea that'll make it at least somewhat readable. :'Lois: 'Make it fast. I got deadlines. :'Leslie: 'Picture this. A gossip column written by yours truly. :'Lois: 'Not a chance. :'Leslie: 'What? Why not? Worried I'll upstage the puff pieces you write? Saving cats. Seriously? :'Lois: 'Look, Willis. You got spunk, gumption, bravado, all qualities of a great reporter, but gossip columns are too mean, and not to put too fine a point at it, so are you. Anything else? :'Leslie: 'groans :'Lois: 'slurping :crackling :'Lois: 'yelps :shutter clicks :'Leslie: 'wickedly Too mean, eh, Lois Lame? Well, the public loves mean, and I'm gonna give 'em all they can handle. :beeping :'Leslie: 'snickering :crackling :shutter clicks :crackling :thuds :crackling :slams :shutter clicks :beeping :ringing :crackling :shutter clicks :'Garth: 'sniffles You deserve better, buddy. groans :crackling :'Garth: 'screams :laughing :'Diana: 'Poor Garth. Why on the name of Hera do you laugh? :'Babs: 'Because it's funny. :'Diana: '"Funny"? Is this what the world of man finds humorous? This suffering of others? :'Zee: 'chuckles Oh, it's just an embarrassing moment, Diana. We all have 'em. :'Diana: 'And we are all hurt when we are mocked and ridiculed. Mankind is better than this. :'Boy: 'Hey, look! It's Lois Lame. :laughing :'Leslie: 'Hey, Lois. Bet you wish you had a gossip column now. :'Lois: 'Ugh! :crackling :'Leslie: 'laughing :laughing :whistling :'Leslie: 'Hmm. :dings :'Leslie: 'Oh! Things are looking up. Or should I say, down. :crackling :'Leslie: 'mischievously :'Diana: 'The warranty stated these would withstand vigorous activity, but they did not withstand infantry training. :screaming :'Diana: 'grunting :cheering :'Leslie: 'Out of the way! :grunts :'Leslie: 'What's your problem, lady? You ruined my shot! :'Diana: 'Your shot? It is you! You are the one behind these videos! Well, contrary to what you may think, I believe that your inter-web theatrical comedy is in fact a tragedy, and mean in spirit. :'Leslie: '"Mean in spirit"? gasps Golly Gee Wilikers! And to think all those poor losers on my website who keep getting laughed at over and over again. What was I thinking? :'Diana: 'Well, I am pleased you have seen the error of your ways. :'Leslie: 'Tell you what. Why don't you and the other super hero girls watch my, uh, inter-web theatrical comedy tonight for an extra special announcement... Just for you. :'Diana: 'Indeed we shall. :music playing :'Leslie: 'Hey everyone out there in Leslie Land. Tonight I've got a special announcement to make. Someone so thoughtfully pointed out my channel is mean in spirit. So therefore I'm retiring. And handing over the site to new management! I'd like to introduce your new host... :crackling :thunderclap :continues :thunderclap :'Leslie: 'What up, Metropolis? The name's Livewire. And you thought what Leslie was doing was mean in spirit. Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I'm gonna supe things up. As in super-prank, super-laughs, and super-humiliation. And Wonder Whiner and the Superhero Girls, just try and stop me! :crackling :'Diana: 'That did not go the way I expected. :'Kara: 'Ha! Seriously? Ms. Swak Jock thinks she can scare us? Now that's funny. :'Diana: 'Hmm. :music playing :♪ I'm gonna crush you :♪ And I'll enjoy it, too :♪ I wanna bring you down :'Kara: 'guffaws :♪ Humiliation's cool :♪ And cruelty's how I want to rule ♪ :'Kara: 'whoops :laughing :♪ Watch me go :♪ With a million volts :♪ With a million volts :♪ A million volts :♪ A million volts :♪ A hundred thousand volts of lightning ♪ :♪ Pointing at yourself :♪ Oh, did I make you sad? :♪ I feel really bad :'Zee: 'shudders : ♪ Maybe we should call your mom ♪ :crackles :'Babs: 'screams :♪ Too bad she can't help you :♪ Now you're weak against my awesome power ♪ :♪ Don't turn your back :You'll never know when I'll attack ♪ :♪ You won't see me coming, but you so will feel the zap ♪ :♪ A million volts :'Karen: 'groaning :"These videos are the best. SHGs are the worst. Bumblebee, funniest video ever!" :'Karen: crying And I'm never ever, ever coming out again! Ever! :Jessica: 'It's really not that bad, Karen. :music playing :'Leslie: 'Waddup, Metropolis? Livewire here with a major-razor invite to all my shockateers. Glen Morgan Square. Midnight. Come see my most epic prank yet. And Super-Lamo-girls, specially you, Wonder Wimp... gags You should come too. If you dare. :'Jessica: 'grunting :'Diana: 'Livewire dares challenge us again? Now that is funny! chuckles Tell me I am right. :wearily :chatter :'Diana: 'Sisters, why so frightened when so many have come to see us triumph? :'Jessica: 'We're not frightened. It's just they haven't come to see us triumph. :'Karen: 'They've come to see her make fools of us. :clamoring :'Leslie: 'Waddup, Metropolis? You ready for the prank night of the century? :cheering :'Leslie: 'So you may be wondering what Livewire has in store for her beloved shockateers? Let's kick things off as the queen of mean memes unleashes some mean memes. :gasp :'Lesile: 'Ha! Explains her recycled outfit. :laughing :'Leslie: 'I guess Batgirl still needs training wheels. :laughing :'Leslie: 'gasps Look, everyone. We found the cause of greenhouse gasses. :laughing :'Leslie: 'Who wore it better? Zatanna or porcupines? :laughing :crackles :'Leslie: 'Looks like bees don't dance, huh? :laughing :'Leslie: 'But wait a minute. We're missing one. Where is Wonder Weenie? Did she have the guts to show up tonight? Come on, Livewire's calling you out. :'Diana: 'Come, sisters, our enemy awaits. Huh? You hesitate? :'Babs: 'We can't go out there. :'Diana: 'Girls, you must believe in people's humanity. They are good. They could never laugh when faced with true suffering. :blowing :chatter :snickering :'Leslie: 'Hey! Look who's here! :'Diana: 'Livewire, your reign of cruelty and humiliation has reached its end. :'Leslie: No, I don't think so. If anything, it's only just begun. :Diana: 'grunts screams :crackles :'Diana: 'Ow! :laughing :'Diana: screaming :crackles :'Diana: 'grunting :'Leslie: 'wickedly :crackles :'Leslie: '''See, Blunder Woman. The people love mean. :laughing :'Leslie: 'Hear them laugh? Laughing at you? You're just a joke to them. And now, it's time for the punch line. :crackling :'Leslie: 'grunts :'Diana: 'groaning :laughing :gasp :'Leslie: 'What's the matter, Wonder Weakling? :gasping :crackles :'Diana: 'screams :gasp :'Diana: 'groaning :'Leslie: 'wickedly :crackling :'Leslie: 'Huh? screams :groaning :'Leslie: 'grunts You think your friends will save you? wickedly :gasp :clamoring :'Leslie: 'grunts :groaning :'Man: 'Huh. That was interesting. :'Leslie: 'maniacally Huh? Hey, what gives? Why aren't you laughing? This is hilarious. Whatever, losers. If that didn't grab your attention, maybe this will. :crackling :laughs :'Leslie: 'gasps :shutter clicking :'Leslie: ' Stop it. Stop laughing. :laughs :'Leslie: 'Stop laughing at me! yells :crackles :beeping :'Lois: '"Later, losers. You haven't seen the last of Livewire." :beeps :cheering :shutter clicks :'Leslie: '"Shocker in Glen Morgan Square. Bully gets what for." I'll show those losers. Just wait till I get my shockateers to... My shockateers! :beeps :'Lesile: 'Where are they going? "Click here for an even better site"? Ugh! :music playing :'Leslie: '''yells Seriously? :music playing